Help Chen Guangbiao redesign his business card!

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This customer received 64 business card designs from 36 designers. They chose this business card design from see why as the winning design.
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Business Card Design Brief
Chen Guangbiao, an "influential" Chinese businessman, made international headlines this week with his business card...but not for the right reasons. Help Chen Guangbiao redesign his new business card - funny and/or satirical submissions welcome!
Check out his hilarious business card that he was giving out on a trip to New York, with not one, not two...but TEN titles! Let's just say they're not the most humble titles either :).
Read more about Chen's business card here: http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2014/01/14/chen-guangbiaos-business-card-needs-to-be-recycled/
While the rest of the world is laughing at him, we want to help. This is an unofficial contest, but we'd like the DesignCrowd community to have a shot at redesigning Chen's business card. Thousands of businesses have used DesignCrowd.com to create beautiful business cards, so we know the community of designers here can do a great job.
We'd like you to create a business card worthy of this honorable businessman, while also keeping a clean, dignified design.
Funny / satirical job titles and designs are encouraged. Note you do not have to use all of Chen's titles on the card. Feel free to come up with your own creative titles!
In regard to contact details, please use dummy contact details. Chen's company name and street address are:
China Huang-Pu Recyclable Salvage & Reclamation Corporation
Shengli Road 1, Jianging District, Nanjing, China
You can design a single sided or double-sided card - it's completely up to you!
We've put $200 up for grabs for the winning entry, which we will email to Chen in an effort to have him using a much more stylish card. Who knows, you might just have China's most important businessman using your design.
Target Market(s)
Business people and government officials of the world
Industry/Entity Type
Business
Font styles to use
Colors
Colors selected by the customer to be used in the logo design:
Look and feel
Each slider illustrates characteristics of the customer's brand and the style your logo design should communicate.
Elegant
Bold
Playful
Serious
Traditional
Modern
Personable
Professional
Feminine
Masculine
Colorful
Conservative
Economical
Upmarket
Requirements
Must have
- At least 1 title, preferably more than 1.
Designers can approach this task how they like however one option could be to use one of Chen's titles and create a suitable business card graphic to suit the role. Designers are also encouraged to o make up a new title and design a graphic to suit.
Here are the titles - but you can also make up your own!
Most influential person of China
Most prominent Philanthropist of China
China Moral Leader
China Earthquake Rescue Hero
Most well-known and Beloved Chinese Role Model
China Top Ten Most Honorable Volunteer
Most Charismatic Philanthropist of China
China Low Carbon Emission
Environmental Protection Top Advocate
China's Foremost Environmental Preservation Demolition Expert
Should not have
- No black borders around photographs of Chen Guangbiao
Do not present Chen Guangbiao's image in grayscale (black and white)
For a detailed guideline for colors to avoid in design targeting the Chinese market, see http://www.illuminantpartners.com/2011/01/17/color/